I can't stop hating myself. I keep thinking of all my mistakes. I used to be able to find at least one redeeming quality, yet now, all I see are mistakes. I see things I could have done better, things I could have said, should have said. Things I shouldn't have done or said at all.
I carpool up with Kevin everyday for my classes... I see him often and I rely on him more than I ever care to admit. I know he will never be with me again and I couldn't ever deserve it anyways. I was so selfish and stupid. Clingy and more than a little too trusting. I keep trying to forget about him but how can I forget about someone I see on a daily basis? Of course I need to stop being such a whore, meaning no more fucking him, no more texting or flirting. From now on, I will refuse to think of him as often as I have been lately. I will try to forget about him as I have been trying to for the past few months.
And to top it off I fucking BINGED!!! I'm a fat, disgusting whore! Ugh, I gross myself out. I don't deserve the love I tend to go on about so often in this rather whiny blog. I disgust myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment