Oh the joys of living without family!

Went grocery shopping yesterday. Of course I had a roommate with me but he's a guy, he never pays attention to what I eat (or don't eat). Neither of them do, they are rarely ever home so I just dirty up a plate and put it in the sink and I'm good to go. Guess I should call this post the joys of living with guys instead buuut that might give the wrong impression :p





Anyways, I got to get everything that would keep me from bingeing too badly. I mean, yes, I did get a lot of food for the guys too but I never eat it cause I always feel guilty for eating their stuff. Which is really good, it keeps me on track. I got low fat yogurt, those special K bars (strawberry, my favorite!) and I know candy isn't the best for you buuut I couldn't resist. I got fruit roll ups but surprisingly they are only 50 cals so if I get a sweet tooth, one of those works wonders and I never feel the need to lose control and eat the whole pack. So I'm really excited about staying on track. I also got the usual apples, bananas, celery, salad and the like





I got the yogurt so I can stop my fast slowly. I seem to be doing good so far. I do have a little concern about ruining this fast too soon with all the new food in the house but I'm still feeling strong. I just hope I can keep it up.

Going strong

So I have now gone two days without eating and I actually feel really good about it. I mean, I'm exhausted and have all the normal symptoms you get with starvation, but I'm doing really well. I know I was trying to do the ABC but I feel so strong right now. I want to see how many days I can fast. I'm going to try for a week. The ABC will be more like a rough guidline if I start feeling weak and think I might fail.



Its almost three in the morning... you would think I would be dead asleep right now... not so much. I know my body wants to sleep and I think if I lay there long enough I might actually sleep but as of right now, I really don't want to go to bed. Not really sure why. Might be because I have been drinking water and diet soda like none other so I have to get up and go to the bathroom every five minutes. I'm doing good though and I'm really proud of myself, I haven't been able to fast in a while. I'm finally getting back to my old groove.



Here is a completely unrelated picture:

So far...

I feel like complete and utter shit right now. Just a series of events in the past two days have put me in the worst of moods. I'm making today a fast day. I can't stand the idea of having to eat today. I really just want to curl up into a ball and cry. They aren't even big things that set me off. Just a bunch of little things all strung together.

He left yesterday. That is the big one... was in a bad mood from the start once I had to say good bye. My friend broke up with her ass hole boyfriend so I had to spend all day cheering her up and I wouldn't have minded otherwise, I was just not in the mood to listen to it. Listening to her complain about it all day put me in an even worse mood. Especially knowing that she will just take him back, anyways. Regardless of how bad he treats her. Probably makes me a bad friend I'm sure. Writing all these things about her but I need to vent.

I also lost my bank card so I couldn't cash a check that I desperately needed as the banks were closed and I was trying to use an ATM. Wash machines in my apartment complex only take bank cards, as I only moved here recently, I didn't know that and had 5 dollars worth of quarters ready. So I have next to nothing to wear.

I know, I'm whining but this new year so far is crap. If this is how its going to be all year I'm ready to just crawl into bed and wait for the next year to come. Everything else is going ok, I suppose. I just have to wait until tomorrow to do everything I need to get done. Whatever... happy new years everyone. Hope yours is going better than mine!

Day one

Ok technically day two considering the time but thats besides the point. I have decided to do the ABC diet. What better day to start than the first of the month? Did well. Ate my 400 calories with ease, went for a run earlier today and walked all around town because my car is broken down and its the only way to get around in this Hell of a town. Oh well, I burned plenty of calories I'm sure. I know I'll be sore in the morning. I worked out like crazy this morning.

Hmm... I will be visiting that wonderful boyfriend of mine in about a month and a half.. I wonder how much I can lose by then. Hopefully enough to make me happy for the time being. Or at the very least, a manageable weight. I don't want to be all fat and self conscious when I see him and I think I have put on some weight these past few weeks. Apparently the scale I was using doesn't even work... I'm 115!!!! I'm a fucking cow.

It is changing though. I will not stand for this. I'm going to the store on monday to buy a few things, a new scale is at the top of my list. Diet soda, fruit and veggies will also be high on my list of course. I need to be at least 100 when I see him. I can lose 15 pounds in a month and a half, right? I mean, if need be I can add a few more fast days to my ABC diet and exercise a little more. Who knows. I'll get it figured out though. I'll go crazy otherwise. All I know is I need to get the fat off fast.