Why must I always be such a fuck up? I have been bingeing non-stop for days. Kevin is leading me on and I am letting him. He says he isn't sure if he wants to date me but we act like we are dating when nobody else is around. He texts and talks about other girls all the time, knowing that it makes me jealous. I have a feeling he is using me... well more than just a feeling but I can't help but want to be with him. It has always been him. Even when I talked about Bret, Anthony and Cody. I just had to try and forget him, so I threw myself at other guys.
I just hope he won't leave me. I couldn't stand that. I have already been cutting and bingeing like crazy. I'm not happy and I can't change it unless I'm with Kevin... he makes me feel whole. I actually feel so happy with him. I know, in the long run this is just going to completely destroy me but I'm not willing to stop it.
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