Well yesterday, I ate nothing. Today I have eaten nothing so far... I don't know what it is but I'm so afraid to eat anything. I bought some spearmint gum to keep my mouth busy and not think of how hungry I am. Every time I decide I will eat a little bit, I get disgusted and wind up throwing it away. I'm strong, I don't want to poison myself with that crap.
Last night I went to a friend's house and got high for the first time... I know bad bad blah blah blah. But I was curious. Anyways, when I looked down at my thighs... they looked skinny. I actually felt skinny and beautiful for a change! I felt sexy and I was happy. But when I woke up today I looked in the mirror and realized how wrong I was. I am nothing but fat. It will change though, when I am 98 pounds I will be way happier than I ever have been. I will be beautiful and thin. I'm so close, I know I can do this.
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