I have been slipping more and more, not just in my ED but in everything. My friends, my relationship, my eating habits, my work, school. It is all just getting worse and worse. I find myself unable to care. I haven't been on Skinnydoll in so long. Today was the first time on the site and I find I have nothing to say to anyone no matter how much I want to say something. Everything is turning into this irrelevant blur that I am separate from. People continue going about their lives and I continue to go into somewhere else, inside myself and rot from the inside out. I used to stop every once and a little while, to take everything in and enjoy the little things that few seemed to notice. Now I just go about my business in this sort of robot trance, not even caring anymore. I used to have ideas, imagination. I used to laugh and smile for real. i used to enjoy going outside in the sun or dancing in the rain and now I sit inside looking out at the cloudy dark weather or the sunlit yard and brood. I can't stand being around people anymore. I really hope this changes soon because I'm going insane. I feel like I'm completely losing myself and I don't know how to stop it.
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